


Fear is the Heart of Love

by GeckoGirl89



Category: Friends (TV)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Community: comment_fic, Episode: s08e12 The One Where Joey Dates Rachel, F/M, Ficlet, Fluff, Introspection, Joey POV, developing feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-24
Updated: 2017-05-24
Packaged: 2018-11-04 14:24:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10992765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeckoGirl89/pseuds/GeckoGirl89
Summary: Joey can get confused a lot, but he's honestly never felt more uncertain than he does now. There's so much he doesn't understand: how it happened, why it happened, and what he's supposed to do now.





	Fear is the Heart of Love

**Author's Note:**

> Written for this prompt (http://comment-fic.livejournal.com/819097.html?thread=103606937#t103606937) on comment-fic: author's choice, any rare pair, _The very essence of romance is uncertainty._ The prompt just made me think of that "terrified" scene and how Joey seemed nervous and hesitant during it.
> 
> The title is taken from lyrics in the song "I Will Follow You Into the Dark" by Death Cab for Cutie.

Joey perches gingerly on a stool next to the recliner Rachel is sitting in, unsure of how he should act around her now.   
  
He just returned home from a date, and it was a failure, weirdly enough, even though the woman was attractive. That used to be the only thing that mattered to Joey, especially if he just met a woman and wasn't necessarily planning to be with her in any serious way. But things have changed now.  
  
He doesn't think the problem was her personality. Sure, she was kind of dumb and didn't understand what Joey was talking about, but he wouldn't have cared about that before. Before he went on that "date" with Rachel, and then all of the previous dates he went on suddenly paled in comparison.  
  
Of course, he would have a good time with Rachel since she is his friend. But Joey doesn't think that's it, because a real date should have been better than a pseudo-date with a friend. And in that brief moment last night when Rachel closed her eyes, Joey was distracted just long enough to imagine how it would feel if Rachel actually demonstrated her end of the night move. A wave of unexpected longing overpowered him, and Joey has been drowning ever since.  
  
His thoughts since last night have been a muddled mess of guilt, fear, desire, and forbidden hope. Joey can get confused a lot, but he's honestly never felt more uncertain than he does now. There's so much he doesn't understand: how it happened, why it happened, and what he's supposed to do now.  
  
But apparently Rachel does. "What are you doing over there? Come sit here, you protect me."  
  
Rachel sounds sure of what she's asking, and Joey agrees hesitantly. After all, he did it before last night, and he doesn't want her to think that anything is different yet. Not until he can begin to sort out how he feels for himself.  
  
But he sits further away than usual, on the arm of the chair. He feels nervous about touching her, afraid that he might give something away or be unable to stop if he does.  
  
Rachel focuses her attention back on the television screen, and her voice sounds anxious when Cujo starts growling again. She drags Joey closer to her and buries her head in his chest to hide from the images on T.V. Joey's heart is racing a mile a minute, and he can only pray that Rachel can't hear it.  
  
"Oh, seriously, how can you watch this?" she asks. "Aren’t you scared?"  
  
Joey didn't know if he could touch Rachel a few seconds ago, and now she's practically sitting in his lap. Of course, he's scared. He feels like a baby bird that was just cruelly tossed out of its nest, forced to face an unfamiliar and intimidating world alone and unprepared. This world, with these feelings, is unfamiliar and intimidating to Joey as well.  
  
"Terrified," he answers. Joey cautiously wraps his arms around Rachel, who is shaking in fear and knows that his own hands are trembling for a different reason. At the moment, he knows two things: he never wants to let Rachel go, and that feeling frightens him more than anything he has ever experienced in his life. He doesn't know anything else.


End file.
